joshuakelly.com

A performance art piece about email communication, using actual emails sent as replies over the last year or so to emails that didn’t make much sense. Not sure what it all means, frankly, except that you know you’ve all received emails that made about as much sense as these, or been tempted to reply like this at some point to limn the sheer silliness and volume of email nonsense we all endure.

View the original article, or read below.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

_________________

From: Jabberwocky
Subject: Latest Project, J.Jub Bird Etc.
To: PD

PD:

Can you ask them to see if they could recalibrate the microspool to optimal boolean hexidecimal interoperability? If they say yes, I’m closer to knowing what’s going on than at first I thought… Thanks.

_________________

From: Jabberwocky
Subject: himiny biminy boo- Very Important
To: PD

Gloinkenhooper:

% – lichtenstein
f – robin hood
@ – squallum con carne. idiopathoposcopy, en garde. Verily.

Spats!

(w/c – wackidy shmackidy doo)

_________________

From: J.Walky
Subject: Ahhh! Hebliphmo!
To: PD

Anyflupe, lackatrackamus eldrift en tallyho. Let’s rintintin all the way to Baton Rouge. Phlid du.

Lolly.

- Scooter

Sent from my iPhone

_________________

From: Jabberwocky
Subject: Necessary Changes. Glinky dinky doo!
To: PD

Heltroscopy, imminy boffco. Ack. Insead:

# – tralala
^ – vinyaveda, oop
g – yo yo ma (times 7)

Wackidy Smackidy Xtry Kersnackity…

Lilo,

Cap’n Rollo

_________________

From: Jabberwocky
Subject: Epiphany!
To: PD

Admiralty -

In truth, the heretofore epiphany made chocolate entropy all but stochastic. Still, I matriculate haltingly at the altar of emblazoned filaments, waffling slowly in the rutted hazelnut effluvium. Ah well, we dance the can-can when we can, can we? Penultimately, my credo is thusly extruded:

- De Doo Doo Doo De Da Da Da is all I have to say to you
- I was born by the river in a little tent, and just like the river I been runnin ev’ry since
- If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now

Pull the ripcord, Effie, the ants look like people from here!

Whatchou talkin’ bout, Willis?

_________________

From: Jabberwocky
Subject: Ahhh! Hebliphmo!
To: PD

Yellow! Wahimpha tillyoscopus!

Oh. I get it. Looks great.

Let’s push it Live.

Thanks.